Picking up the award for best supporting actor for his role Rayon, a transgender woman, in Dallas Buyers Club, the Oscar nominee thanked the late Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kurt Cobain, Wayne Gretzky and even homemade burritos.
Ultimately leaving out practically no one and nothing, he also thanked "all the women I’ve been with and all the women who think they've been with me," those who make size-12 heels as well as vegan butter, and the seven billion people on the planet.
Imitating his costar Matthew McConaughey's catchphrase, he came to the podium at the Audi and Dark Horse Wine-sponsored event saying "All right, all right, all right," but the most buzzed-about moment came when he paid kiddingly tribute to "my future ex-wife, Lupita," adding, "I'm thinking about you."
The 42-year-old has recently been linked to 12 Years a Slave Oscar nominee Lupita Nyong'o – who not only won the Spirit Award for her performance in the harrowing historical drama, but celebrated her birthday Saturday, too.
"Not a bad way to celebrate my birthday!" she said in her speech.
Reporting by JENNIFER GARCIA
The 86th annual Academy Awards, hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, airs Sunday, March 2, at 8:30 p.m. ET on ABC.