No one was safe. Here are some of his most memorable zingers:
• It's gonna be a night of partying and heavy drinking … or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.
• I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?
• Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because it's not 1975.
• Nothing for Sex and the City 2? I was sure the Golden Globes special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza.
• I Love You Phillip Morris stars Jim Carey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous scientologists … Probably, my lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.
• Please welcome Ashton Kutcher's dad, Bruce Willis!
• She's just Jenny from the block. If the block in question is that one on Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada.
• He's the star of Iron Man, Two Girls and a Guy, Wonderboys. Sorry, are these porn films? Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang), Bowfinger. Really! Up the Academy. He has done all those films, but many of you in this room probably know [Robert Downey Jr.] from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angles County Jail.
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