updated 03/17/2014 AT 12:00 PM ET
•originally published 03/16/2014 AT 3:55 PM ET
If you’re planning on publicly celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, there are a few ways you can do so. You can march in a parade. You can eat an authentic Irish meal. You can even dress up like the Duchess of Cambridge.
If you’re planning on pairing any of those activities with the consumption of alcohol – or perhaps simply planning on making the consumption of alcohol an activity in and of itself – perhaps you should take a moment and read some advice we collected from a few New York City bartenders about how to properly comport oneself on St. Paddy’s Day.
"Have your money, or card, out and ready when I fill your order. It’s going to be three deep at the bar and I’m trying to serve everyone as fast as I can. Don’t make me wait on you."
– Dan, bartender, Idle Hands
"Bring a minimal amount of personal belongings. A ‘holiday’ isn’t an excuse to act like an a––. Bar staff isn’t responsible for you, you’re responsible for you. Also, shamrock gear and big green hats make you look like a tool; wear a tasteful green sweater or green socks or something, if you must. I’ll be drinking at home on St. Patrick’s Day, like I do on any other day."
– Lucille, Niagara
"Don’t ask me to ‘kiss you because you’re Irish.’ Don’t be shocked when I cut you off for your own good."
– Anne, Barn
We also asked Reddit’s r/bartenders subreddit for advice. Here was our favorite answer, courtesy of user hutchero:
1. Pace yourself. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
2. Be patient. Pubs will be busier, so it’ll take longer to get served.
3. Don’t talk Irish politics; I’ve seen things kick off very quickly on this topic. See also the "Irish car bomb" drink – would you order something called a "Fallujah car bomb?"
4. Maudlinly sing ‘Danny Boy’ at closing time.
Lucille also gave us some tips on local spots for St. Paddy’s if you’re in N.Y.C. for the holiday:
“McSorley’s will be packed, but it’s the oldest pub in the city. Bull McCabe’s on St. Marks, or Desmond’s Tavern. The best place to find actual Irish folk? Sunnyside, Queens: Just look up Irish pubs in that neighborhood.”
Whatever your plans are, have fun, stay safe and enjoy yourself responsibly!
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