02/26/2014 AT 9:00 AM ET
Dan Janssen is a 38-year-old woodworker in Maryland, not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. But for the past 25 years, he claims to have lived on a diet of nothing but pizza.
In an interview with Vice, Janssen clarified his claims: He usually eats an entire 14, cheese-only, with only oregano as a topping. He became a vegetarian because of “ethical reasoning” when he was “15 or 16,” but he also hates vegetables, leaving pizza his preferred – and apparently sole – option.
Janssen has diabetes and frequently gets low blood sugar, though he says that his diet has “never gotten a negative reaction except from [his] first endocrinologist,” who recommended he see a nutritionist, which Janssen referred to as “a waste of time.”
” Even though I sound like a horribly unhealthy and fat person, I’m not. I’m thin. I have tons of energy, and I feel great every day,” he adds. “… I don’t want to become a foodie or one of those people that has a fetish around food – other than pizza – because I think that’s a dumb by-product of our narcissist society … I like processed food. I like preservatives and pizza.”
In case you were wondering, Janssen’s favorite pizza is from Pontillo’s, a chain in upstate New York. His final words of wisdom on the topic? “I never want to give up my love and passion for pizza Pizza is like sex – even when it’s bad, it’s good.”
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