Happy 30th Birthday Footloose: It’s Time to Cut … Twerkloose!

Twerkloose starring Miley Cyrus

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty

updated 02/14/2014 AT 5:00 PM ET

originally published 02/17/2014 AT 10:00 AM ET

A young rebel rides into town alone and starts a dancing revolution against the wishes of the local elites, who think this youthful hedonism is all too much – the plot of the Kevin Bacon classic Footloose clearly bears no similarities to the world of today.

But wait.

As the film that encouraged us all to cut our feet loose celebrates its 30th anniversary on Feb. 17, it’s time to imagine a modern update. No, not the 2011 remake that is – unconscionably – the No. 1 Google result for “Footloose.”

Instead, let’s envision a different new Footloose, one that stars the one woman in America whose dance moves (solo or otherwise) can still cause a stir.

We’ve taken the trouble to mock up some storyboards for this million-dollar idea below. Check them out, and then give us a call, Hollywood!

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
Miley Cyrus steps into Kevin Bacon’s high-waisted jeans and tank top for this Footloose remake.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
After tiring of a life of fame, Cyrus moves to a small town where twerking is banned and tries to make friends.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
But it doesn’t take long before her tongue-waggling behavior starts turning heads.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
Cyrus’s tractor-riding know-how helps her get by, but is it enough?

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
After several twerk-less weeks, Cyrus finally finds a place to release her moves in private.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
Reinvigorated by the power of twerk, Cyrus decides to make a change.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
She forms a plan with her supportive father to have twerking accepted.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
In the end, Cyrus brings her best moves to the town dance and blows the locals away.

Photo Illustration by People.com; Photos provided by Everett;Getty
The kids are finally allowed to twerk! Everybody cut loose!

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