08/22/2013 AT 11:15 AM ET
After successfully battling ovarian cancer for the second time and sharing her journey on PEOPLE.com, Diem Brown is back to blogging. This time around, she will not only share updates on her own life, but also about competing on her new show, MTV’s The Challenge: Rivals II.
Success is when preparation meets opportunity.
Some people might call me overly cautious, but I try to make sure that when the right opportunity presents itself that I am 100 percent prepared for it. That, above all, explains why I ran, swam, and trained so hard in preparation for this season of The Challenge. I was terrified that if I slacked off, my cancer treatment side effects would catch up to me in the final.
Chemo is no joke – it’s like nuking an anthill as it kills the cancer, but it also ravages your entire body. You can see the visible side effects but some of the most annoying side effects aren’t visible to the eye. Your body has been fighting a war and it’s tired. Your mind has been clouded with “what and so you’re not as sharp and it’s harder to remember things. Your hormone levels are being tweaked around with injections and pills so at times you feel verifiably crazy.
That last invisible side effect – the hormones – is what I felt affected me the most on this challenge.
I like to think of myself as a pretty laid back, easy going type of person. However, on this challenge I felt I had very little patience, leading to a short fuse and intense mood swings. I wasn’t sure if it was from the steroids, from the chemo, from menopause, or from the hormone shots.
Things I would normally brush off would eat at me non-stop. I could feel this inner rage building, creating a monster that was tip-toeing around inside me just waiting for something to tick it off. I’m reminded of that scene from Knocked Up where Katherine Heigl screams at Seth Rogen, so I assume pregnant women also know this fun lil’ mood swing monster.