updated 06/17/2012 AT 8:00 PM ET
•originally published 06/18/2012 AT 9:50 AM ET
But now, five years since her sex tape with ex-boyfriend Ray J was released, the reality star says she understands the impact it’s had on her career.
“You know, I think that’s how I was definitely introduced to the world,” Kardashian, 31, said of the sex tape, which was the focus of a lawsuit until she settled with Vivid Entertainment to distribute it. “It was a negative way, so I felt like I really had to work 10 times harder to get people to see the real me.”
Shooting down the long-lived rumor she released the tape herself, she says she’s always been concerned about “humiliating the family,” including mom Kris Jenner, 56, stepfather Bruce Jenner, 62, sisters Kourtney, 33, Khloé, 27, Kendall, 16, Kylie, 14, and brother Rob, 25, who joined her on the special.
When it was released, she said, she turned to her mom, panicked. It was a “really bad day” mom Kris Jenner recalls. “No mother ever wants to hear something like that,” Jenner said earlier in the interview. “I could tell she was in a lot of pain.”
Still, she told her daughter, “We can get through anything.”
“I have to live with the choices I have made,” she said. “And I can’t dwell on it.”