updated 09/11/2006 AT 11:00 AM ET
•originally published 09/05/2006 AT 5:00 PM ET
He made you laugh out loud with the ladies of Sex and the City and then ponder your dating beliefs with his No. 1 bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You. Now writer Greg Behrendt is channeling his relationship expertise and snarky style into his own self-titled daytime TV talk show. PEOPLE.com got a sneak peak at what he’s planning for The Greg Behrendt Show when it debuts Sept. 12 (check local listings), not to mention some hypothetical relationship advice from the guru himself.
There are a lot of relationship shows out there right now. How is yours different?
I come from the “brother”-like point of view, not a doctor. The show is fun and we play games. One time I had a guy choose between his favorite baseball game and his wife – it gets interesting.
What makes you an expert?
I just co-wrote a book. The world and Sony Pictures thought I had something good to say. I am just really interested in relationships and anything that has to do with them.
What are some of the best and worst things that can happen in relationships?
The worst thing is expecting things to change. You cannot make it work if you are always trying to fix things. There are some things you can fix like teeth, but if that person hasn’t had a job in two years and you expect them to get one, it’s not going to happen. The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex – that is a super positive.
Are you open about your relationship with your wife Amiira on the show?
I am very candid and open about my life to my audience. At the top of each show I tell a story about my experiences in my relationship with my wife and kids. I am also a recovering alcoholic – 10 years’ sober – and we talk about that, too. I want the audience to see I’m like them and I’m there trying to solve problems with them, not for them.
Let’s try out some relationship hypotheticals: Say you won an Oscar and your husband says he is happy for you, but then he spirals into a depression. How do you handle that?
Ask what’s going on, but that is really all you can do. He has self-esteem issues and should go to counseling. It is not about you, you are not responsible for his happiness only he is.
Your significant other is starring in a new movie with an actress who has a reputation for sleeping with her costars. How do you maintain your confidence?
Know the person you married. You can discuss your feelings, but honestly, if you are even having that conversation you probably shouldn’t be in the relationship. You have to trust. My wife is really good-looking and is around men all the time, and I would trust her to spend the night with Colin Farrell. All the power to her if she can find the time or energy to have an affair.
You wake up one morning to find yourself entrenched in your new boyfriend’s life – his friends, his work, his religion. How do you balance a new relationship with your old ones?
We all get carried away, but the new person you are with should want to be involved in your life. If not, that is trouble. Your life is important because it is the only one you can really control. Certain things or friends do go away, but you should both want to be into each other’s friends. Some of my wife’s friends have become my best friends, and vice versa. Don’t give yourself up. It’s not healthy.